How to play out the perfect first date on Valentine’s Day

How to play out the perfect first date on Valentine’s Day

You’ll be breaking one of the key pillars that should NEVER be compromised to have a happy and successful romance. Driver Two: Your Values From our values, we derive the second driver of the quality of our intimate relationships. If you value physical attractiveness above all else, then you are willing to sacrifice all other traits for beauty. If you value dependability and security in a relationship, then you will be willing to neglect other traits in favor of dependability and relationship security. And your values will run even further… What You Value, You Invest In What you choose to value not only limits you to the type of people you’ll date; it also determines the qualities you will invest in yourself. If you value honesty and living with integrity, then you will consciously make the effort to live a life where there are no discrepancies between your words and actions.ashley credit card In turn, you will attract partners who value exactly the same. If you value wealth above all else, then you will spend your time and effort into making money and attracting partners who value money as well. Change the values about yourself or the world, determine your values, prioritize them, and then invest in them. Then, like alchemy, witness the quality of your relationships completely transform. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…

Share This Article Facebook10Tweet0Pin1 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, For Men, For Women, Relationships, Self, Tips & Advice Tagged in: Beliefs, Dating, Relationships, Values It’s old news now, snatched up mostly-free dating service OkCupid. OkCupid was a fun little site that I enjoyed being on. It’s how Taylor and I met, in fact! As expected OkC’s CEO stated “Our goal is that the acquisition will have no effect whatsoever.” We’ll see about that. I call B.S. on such statements, though. If we look at MySpace you’ll see that an urgency to produce a real ROI model becomes paramount. This is also similar to last years snatch up of (another service I use) by the makers of Quicken and Turbo Tax aka Intuit. With the dust still settling, I wonder how smart of a move this was for Did they really need to make this purchase? They have a ton of niche dating sites, as well as a free site that goes head to head with Plenty of Fish, called Down to Earth. I’ve never been on Down to Earth, my girlfriend my jab me with a hot poker if I did… I kind of like that action, though. Something kinky for later. Anyway, moving on… The only thing I can really come up with is user experience that OkC provides is attractive to Match. OkC, who generates revenues from ads and premium “A-list” services. Could be banking on OkC’s user experience? Possibly because, in my opinion, OkCupid isn’t really a innovative site, it doesn’t really do a whole lot to distinquish itself from the glut of other online dating services, other than offering a full range of features for free.

For OkC CEO, Sam Yagan, it’s not a shabby deal. He wasn’t innovating or changing how online dating works, this move made sense for him. More than anything OkCupid is the hip online dating site for socially connected and aware folks who want an easy and fun way to meet people. It’s an experience and that’s what bought. email Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships We’ve all heard the horror stories. Heck, we’ve all had it happen to us! Giving a last minute or ill-thought-out gift is a common trait among couples.

Many times, the ignorance is obvious to everyone – except the gifting person. Don’t be the guy who buys his wife the gun or bowling ball (or) the woman that buys herself a fancy new, expensive gadget (i.e. iPad, etc.) only to give her husband the old, and busted one. Romance doesn’t equal thoughtlessness. Nevertheless you feel about your gift giving choices, think again. Don’t be the person that gives the cheapest, most inappropriate or just plain bizarre gifts. Significant others everywhere are speaking up because they still can’t believe the level their partners have stooped to over the years.  It’s the thought that counts so make it count!

Stuck at home with your partner? Look to retirees for how to make it work

Think about the person you love and what they’d appreciate. While your heart could be in the right place, keep in mind that if it clutters your home, makes your partner feel guilty for throwing it away, or has hidden costs well then you might want to rethink your gifting abilities.

Finding the perfect gift can be stressful. Don’t add injury to insult. To help ease the burden, let’s take a look at the top five worst gifts to bestow upon your loved one followed by a little first aid in the gift giving department… #1 Self-help books Seriously? Nothing says I really like you like “there’s something wrong with you.” #2 Air Fresheners You might as well just say – “Your house smells.” #3 Scales You’ve really got something against this person don’t you? Why don’t you remind them daily with how fat you believe they are… #4 Exercise Equipment NO ONE asks for a shake weight or leg master ultra for Christmas. If they do, their lying. Not only can these gifts be expensive but 99% of them NEVER get used and end up taking up space the closet or lost in the garage. #5 Animals While everyone loves puppies and kittens, the problem is they grow up. The sad thing about gifting animals is that many times, people can’t keep them, and pets find themselves at the pound. (Continued on Page 2) Pages: 1 2 Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook3Tweet0Pin0 Pages: 1 2 Posted in: Relationships Tagged in: couples, gifts Some time ago I had a discussion with a couple of friends of mine, both of whom are working on a pair of online dating startups. One of them was my good buddy, Duane and the other is a friend, named Ross Felix, of Dating Revolution. In speaking with each of them they both had some unique perspectives on how to go about making a online dating experience that is authentic and has some means of enforceable quality. That is, make sure to keep out the fake profiles and keep it fun for all.

Simple and to the point. Duane and Ross had a lot of bells and whistles they were designing into their solutions. Ross has a much more polished user interface for what he’d be doing and is much closer to prototyping his offering than Duane. All good ideas to be sure. However, each conversation I had with them I mused: “Why isn’t anyone trying to do this and leverage Facebook’s mountains of gold in information? What about the Open Graph???!” They both nodded their heads at me and said something to the effect of: “That’s interesting, but I don’t see that it will supplant traditional online dating sites.” More or less anyway. Why build from the ground up all this data into your site when you have a huge api to leverage that’s there, ready to be used? Then this article happened a few days ago: — I’d read up and around about these folks, so I was eager to get more on their offering. They were glad to oblige! Friend Flirt is going to first of all eliminate those ridiculous “about me” sections and horribly put together profiles. Also, you won’t have to worry about what photos to post, because your facebook photos will already be there! And don’t worry about those fake profiles and scammers- only real people will be on Friend Flirt! And even better- those real people are your friends’ friends!

No need to be worried about Catfish, here! No need to be worried about if that guy is single or if this chick has kids that they’re hiding from you. It’ll all be right there. It’ll be easier to create dates because you’ll know more about this person quicker than in regular online dating- just talk to your friends about your new match! ^ Game Changer, simply put. In the coming years I think we’re going to be seeing many services, like Friend Flirt, that will leverage the data of large Social Networks to power their offerings. It’s going to be an interesting time for Online Dating services. The concept of Social Dating is long over due to be delivered on. And surprisingly so. The data has been there for a while now, but no one’s been able to make use of it. Facebook has made Social Dating possible, now. Does this mean FB wants a piece of the Online Dating marketshare? I don’ think so. What I do think is that they realize that their information is worth something. Their API can be used to get at that data and share it in so many ways and they get to charge a bounty to those accessing it.

If I’m Match, eHarmony or any number of online dating sites I wouldn’t start shaking in my boots yet. What I WOULD DO is figure out a way to leverage the data that the FB Open Graph Search can provide and INVEST a lot of resources into figuring out the best ways to leverage that information into their platform. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve been meeting on this very topic for months now. If not, they should have been. The online dating game is about to change. Hold on, kids! It’s gonna be fun! Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…

Confessions of a “Church Girl”

Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating, Opinion Tagged in: facebook, social dating Women everywhere ask themselves that important question, that is how to make themselves irresistible to men. To become an object of affection and envy is something that everybody thinks about at least one point in their lives, and most would go on to repeat that question to themselves over the course of their With that in mind, here are about five things that you can do to become irresistible to men. Confidence is everything While this seems to have been overstated over and over, this is perhaps the basic foundation of any sort of self-presentation for the purposes of becoming more attractive.

Confidence is sexy, and nothing is better than a beautiful woman who carries herself as such without any hesitation whatsoever. Not only is it about the right amount of belief in oneself that gets to them, but also the optimism that just expresses one’s love for life and faith in things being okay despite whatever may happen. As much as women like that in men, they also like that in women. Of course, don’t go overboard with it so they don’t get too intimidated or put off by the sheer amount of bravado you’re exuding throughout the night. Be friendly This is another basic tip that should balance with all the previous one, that is that you should have a friendly front. While there is also the part where you should act somewhat mysterious so that you get into their heads, it’s no good if they decide that you’re unapproachable. You have to somehow show them that you don’t bite and that you’re accessible to them at some level. While it’s an obvious thing that you shouldn’t be too friendly, so you can still have your space, not be too “easy”, and so that they don’t get their hopes up too much. With that said, you should know the level of involvement that you should engage in with them, that is not too distant yet not too close at the same time. Be aware of the men who do interest you that is more like an awareness of your environment, which takes from the much level of involvement in conversations that was discussed in the previous tip.

If you get so engrossed in a conversation, you might miss the guys passing by who may actually be your type. This is when your conversational and overall social skills will be tested, especially since you have to maintain your station as a woman. You can’t start looking like some flooziewho approaches every man in the party without discretion, but still speak with that one guy with potential in the party somehow. This can be achieved with just a look at his direction. When you two do make eye contact, give him an inviting look and maybe even a wink (although that may be a bit overboard) and he may come around sooner or later. Just don’t look an excessive amount of as if you’re desperate and always exercise discretion. Some flattery is good It’s not a bad thing to flatter guys who you may be interested in every once in a while. Men tend to spend more time with women who may admire them, even if it’s just a light tap on the shoulder and a smile to send him to the right direction. You’d be surprised with how well it works out, but you do have to be careful.

The art of flattery is a very subtle and delicate one since it’s very easy for anyone to know if you’re overdoing it. It’s not really good to not do it since that’ll make you look like a snob, but you can’t do it too much to an individual since it’ll make you look desperate and easy, and that’s not good for any woman. In this case, it’s always about your own discretion and how you carry it. Learn to Listen The secret to figuring men out is to learn how to listen to them and work out what they’re about. It may be a wonder for a lot of ladies about why men could be so callous and careless when dealing with them, and it’s a good idea to have some understanding on why that’s so instead of just whining about it all the time. That understanding could make you more attractive since you’ll be easier to deal with for them. Of course, you wouldn’t want to come off as someone who could cut them slack for making mistakes, but it’s a good thing if you’re the type of girl who would let some stuff slide from time to time. Remember that being heard is not the only part of conversation and bonding, but listening as well. As much as men should learn how to listen, so should you. Being a good listener definitely makes you irresistible to men as it makes them so as well. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook11Tweet0Pin3 Posted in: Tips & Advice Tagged in: Dating, Relationships Why does anyone date? It seems a pretty obvious answer to a rather simple question, one would think. But I’ve talked to a bunch of different people with a bunch of different answers to that very question. Some date just to, well, just to sow their “seeds,” if you will.

Some date purely for the chase; can they get what they want in/from someone else. While most others, I feel, date to meet that special someone to settle down with. These aren’t the only real reasons why people date, but a few of the more common ones. Dating is a very normal and social activity. One that many people don’t take full advantage of. Part of the reason for that is there’s a single minded focus on what a person is looking for in another. Personally, I date to find a woman who can deal with the fact that I smell like boiled cabbage and sweat socks, but won’t mind my awful, awful jokes. Well, that’s one reason, but I have many others, too!

But dating gets us to become more comfortable with ourselves and with meeting new people, which are topics I’ll touch upon in this entry. Why Date? Why would you want to date? Why would anyone to go out with a morbidly obese person that they met off of a sales call from Great Expectations without knowing what that morbidly obese person looked like??? Since I’m the one that did that, i will tell you that I was genuinely curious what kind of fun I could have by playing a bit of Russian Roulette. It back fired, that time. I took the bullet, so to speak… But I’d do it again… well, provided that my telemarketer-date doesn’t try anything funny. It’s hard to fend off an inspired and boldly built woman, allow me to tell you. I think the best reason there is for dating is, simply, to satisfy new people. If you’re dating to satisfy new people and make some connections in the process; you’re guaranteed to add some amazing people to your lifetime, regardless of whether or not things work out romantically. I’ve been fortunate to get some pretty amazing friends out of dating. Now, you may think to yourself “Well, he ‘s got no game if he’s in the friendship boat…” Well, sorta? I guess.

The point isn’t always to score a round trip ticket to someone’s nether regions; spending a lot of time not ‘getting it’ provided me this nugget of wisdom while crying myself to sleep every night from loneliness. Remember, too, that these relationships you forge only increase your social influence and open up the opportunity to satisfy even more people. I guess my point here’s that even if you don’t make a love match with each new person you go on a date with, it’s okay. They could positively affect your lifetime in ways you never imagined and introduce you to new people in the process. Dating to move outside of our comfort zone. We become familiar, accepting and comfortable with things that we know intimately. It can be difficult to change our scenery; how we look at things and how we go about our lives when we’ve arrived at level of comfort. Dating, or even approaching someone new could be difficult to someone who isn’t used to doing so on a regular basis. That’s fine, it’s not the end of the world. Dating can help with this. You have to be in a position to meet new people.

And there’s a amount of methods to do that. Volunteering to do charity work in something that interests you. Sign up for a dating website. Signing up for some sort of activity like tennis, jogging or any other group activity where you can meet like minded people that share your interests. We grow more, as people, when we step outside of our comfort zone. Doing so can lead to becoming more confident, especially when do it more often. Now, I like to dance. I suck at dancing, however. I have all of the coordination of a dead fish. I step on people when I dance. But I’ve never taken a dancing class, fearing the admonishment I’d receive from impatient instructors. One night I decided to give a salsa class a try. It was a ton of fun, I got to meet a bunch of awesome women and had a blast!! Now, I wasn’t on a date; but I’d certainly take a date to an open dancing class, or even a beginning private dance class. However, I think that the open dance classes you will probably find at dance clubs/salsa bars are ideal.

They are less formal and stressful. It’s really a great way to lower the walls and get to know someone else while having some fun. Finding Out What We Want Dating can also help us determine what we are really looking for and what things we can and cannot deal with. For myself, I realized that I could deal with women who smoked. It’s a habit that I do scoff at, but found that in the end it didn’t bother me so much. I also learned that, even though I kinda like taller women, for instance, I could deal with ‘bite-sized Betties,’ (aka short) too. I know that many people make out lists of what they do and don’t want… It’s good to have such things in mind. However, before you’re really faced with a few of these list-items and choosing how to deal with them on the fly, you just don’t know what you really can/can’t deal with. Personally, I tend to err on the side of open mindedness, which I understand isn’t for everyone; after all, “you don’t need to eat a whole bowl of soup to know that it’s no good.” There’s a delicate balance in figuring out just how much you want to learn on ‘on the fly’ as opposed to just sticking to your gut instinct.

I suggest finding a balance for the two like that you can leave the door open to experimentation. I do recommend the blind date with a telemarketer, I’m just sayin’. In the End… It’s all about having fun and meeting someone who has faults you can deal with. There’s a lot of self discovery in the process and that’s why dating is necessary. To help us fill those gaps in our personality that we don’t know about or pay attention to. Getting out there and dating also provides a healthy means to meet people who may have a positive and lasting impact on your life… What ever the case could be, there’s a lot of reasons you should date, that is, assuming you’re single in the first place.

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